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Day One

"Warren And Duncan's Law School Serial; True Stories From The University Of Florida's Levin College Of Law" satirizes my law school experiences. This is my attempt at political humor.

 

(Outside of the University of Florida's Levin College of Law)

Duncan: So, why did you decide to attend law school here?

Warren: For the apparel.

Duncan: Excuse me?

Warren: My alma mater, the University of Montana, has awful licensed merchandise. I just want a shirt that says Montana or has our schools crest or mascot by itself, instead of these new-age, hippy designs. If I knew the clothing was so bad, I would have gone somewhere else.

Duncan: Essentially then, you chose a law school based on fashion?

Warren: I’m tied to this school for the rest of my life. I had to be comfortable with its colors and symbols.

Duncan: Do you root for a sports team because you like their uniforms?

Warren: Of Course. The Gator kicks ass by the way and is versatile. Gainesville is a progressive town; we should lobby the University for a line of “Gaytor” Football Shirts. The Law School just uses a drunken frat Gator for its events, when it should really have a “Gaytor Law Students for Lawrence” campaign.

Duncan: Gay pride is rampant here; those two guys who look like twins always make out at the ACLU events.

Warren: As Vice President, I admit that no one ever attends our functions.

Duncan: Some impact that you’re making on the world.

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