I'm missing a hand. If anyone finds it, please let me know.

Let's give the landscaper a big hand

This gives new meaning to the phrase, "lend me a hand".

Sort of like the Cinderella story, where the prince (police) go through the land looking for the arm that the hand fits.

Was it the landscaper or the hand-dy man?

Good grief! People on this site are ridiculous.

Seriously people?

Must have found it near the gas station with the cheap gas. Most stations charge a whole arm and a leg...

Authorities are expecting someone to finger the perp - then they'll nail him.

I guess they really threw their hands in the air, and apparently did not care

"Honey, could you give me a hand in the yard?"

Figures.....someone is always looking for a hand out.

It had to be a hand, but the bird was missing!

Seriously folks......this hand belonged to a real person!!!

Obviously the need for Lt. Philip Gerard to seek out the one hand man is in order!

How is one to behave properly with regard to this matter...?

There will be a fine Baltimore County Policeman who will solve this case single handedly.

Any investigator worth their salt will consider the condition of the scene - was it like field grass, or more like a manicured lawn?

things got out of hands

I don’t really think I need to point this out and perhaps I am going out on a limb but isn’t our police for more that equipped to handle this?

I'm sorry this does belong to a real human....but I'm peein' my pants laughing at these comments...bad karma my way

To the more serious responders - Get a Grip!

A hand-some reward is being offered to the person who reunites this missing hand to its owner.

Sorry.. couldn't help myself. What a great way to start my day... reading all these puns, haha.

And to the few who can't take a joke... lighten up a little! Sure... someout out there is missing their hand but clearly they aren't missing it too much -- otherwise they would have claimed it when it uh... fell off.

Look for the bike with a single handlebar.

Probably have to buy a hands-free phone now too.

Some of us here prefer these kind of off-hand remarks.

I'm sure the landscaper might be wringing his hands if the police think he had anything to do with any sleight of hand. But I have to take a hand in congratulating all of you who have handily posted these puns. Many hands have made light work! :)

Of course, it will be easier to write shorthand now.

I guess a whole new meaning to keeping your "hands off"?

Please stop today at noon for a moment of silence and remembrance of Thing. It led a good long life in television and it will be missed. Maybe it should have it own Hollywood sidewalk plot.

http://www.ryananddebi.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/thing.jpg

Gomez must be devastated. Loosing your right hand (man) is always trying.

The hurricane visited us 2 weeks ago. Perhaps the hand was relocated by the wind. The Police should check the neighborhood for any palm trees.

Everyone is dealt a bad hand every once in awhile, but a missing hand? Good hands are remembered.

I usually fold a bad hand, I don't lose it.

Ok....now let's join hands everyone.......well except for the person missing one

Hands down....this is a great story

Listen,....... the sound of one hand clapping.......oh, rats!

On a serious note, my suspicion is at some point the police will find the remainder of the body this hand came from. The hand was probably moved to the location where it was found by an animal snacking on the carcass. Perhaps DNA from the bones will lead to a missing person and close a case.

Nice to smile through a thread for a change....a big hand for the story!

Seriously, I hope and pray it doesn't have something to do with the missing girl in Owings Mills. She's been missing since September, so that would allow for the decay and animal activity.
I pray for her and her family.

They did find the body, on a neighboring property. No ID yet. The missing Owings Mills girl has been found alive and well.

That's some hand job!

Oddly, I never thought that a possible murder and dismemberment case could be so funny to people. Society has certainly changed, for the worse.

His last name is Addams. He has not been seen since 1971,

Police have announced that the death of the person has been ruled a suicide. I'm sorry, but with the way this thread has gone, I just can't resist - He died by his own hand.

Man, You guys single handedly took us down another path. Lighten up .

The people on this site....... words can not express the anger I feel to read the mess!!